Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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