How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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