Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops