What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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