What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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