Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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