whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops