I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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What do you call four black people in a car? A family road trip.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops