What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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