Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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