Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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