What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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