an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Chuck Norris.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Small Penis.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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