whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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