Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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One orphan said to the other, 'what are your parents called'

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Hey, come here often? No.

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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Black people are innocent.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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Child Prostitution.

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Oh...okay, good.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Anti jokes are funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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