A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

I like to eat.

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

Anti jokes are funny

So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

Women's rights

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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