What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Aodhan Hearty

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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