live babies

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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blubber vaginass CC

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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gays

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

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So one time this woman was learning...

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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