Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Is Carly smart? No.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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Let's write an anti-joke. K.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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son, you're adopted.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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