There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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Military intelligence.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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