I hate you.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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no

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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