A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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