A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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jews

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Knock knock knock OCD

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops