Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops