Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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a man was shot.... he died

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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