Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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