Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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