What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

thumb_up thumb_down +13

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops