How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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Knock knock Come in

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops