How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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I am a mime

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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