What is the best thing the French ever invent The two piece

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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