A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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Womans baksetball...

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops