Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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Roses are red, yup.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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