Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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Puns are terrible. I love them.

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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