Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Roses are red, yup.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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