96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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