Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops