How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops