What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops