What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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