Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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