Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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