What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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