Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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