Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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