knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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NEVER

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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