Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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