A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Sarah Palin.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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