Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Lady, calm down, you are missing out on the details here. We knew he was selling information as "The Wiz", from there on it was no problem tracking him down, but having us track him down at the core of Point Zero, would have dragged you all down with him, he was into sharing not only precious Intel, but also some sick shit, nobody is going to mourn him, and neither should you. We sent him a tip so he would get to some location where he would still be able to bypass the lockdown (easy to assume a little geek knows how to manage this), but a small anonymous tip would never have been enough to make him run for it, the next part was to make sure the info on his anonymous message, begin to come true. Sorry about the rest, I needed to know what position he had among "the Order", and he was shot down by a sniper, he knew too much, his involvement, and abilities as both a liar and a traitor, could easily have made it so he would have lied the blame on you, so he could have gone free. And believe me, this happens a lot, and is probably what happened to the old underground as well, think about it, you begin selling some dirty info videos, pictures of things nobody should see in the name of some "organization" (I have no idea what you call your thing, and it is best you never tell me). Then what is left? You claim the entire organization you work for, are the ones responsible for your dirty work, you tell your captors, and you go home rewarded with freedom taking the whole organization down with you, when in this case, the one that would have gone free, would have been the only one to blame. I know what the rest of you are doing, I mean I was part of its foundation years ago, and there is nothing illegal about it, yet people such as the feds would as they did, have brought the whole place down again, and as they had nothing to accuse us for back then other than "we do not like this", they never shared this to the mainstream media. Cant have that happening again, no matter the cost, and if you ask me, some small geek pedophile selling bullshit, should not blame you all, but die, that is justice. It was not "nice knowing me", we will meet again, I mean it, even if I have to get your cell number on "gray terms", you might not like it, but I will call you, on friendly terms of course. The setup is finished, got to go, cant sit here typing on my laptop anymore, gotta get back to the office.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Racial Equality

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock! F*ck off

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

thumb_up thumb_down -25

An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops