What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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there was a black man n a white man they went into a hauted house the black man saw a penut butter slice n tryed to eat it then the ghost said dont eat the penut butter slice so the black man ran away so then the white man came and saw the penut butter slice the white man toke a bite then the ghots said i told u once i told you 2 i wipe my ass with that penut butter slice

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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