Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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