If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

thumb_up thumb_down -7

God is real.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A gay man watches football.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops