Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops