A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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