Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

Why was the man sad? His brother died.

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

what did the orange say to the apple? hi

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 sodomized his whole family.;

A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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