What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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this last joke was a correction to the other one

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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