What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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White men's rights

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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knock knock Goodbye

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops