I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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knock,knock you suck

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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