Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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