A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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