A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops