Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock? Who's There? Not Suzy. What did Suzy want for Christmas? Parents who loved her. What did Suzy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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