How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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ugvvvvvv

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops