An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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