that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops