A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops