"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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Roses are red, yup.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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