So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

your brother so fine that hes skinney

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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