roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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human centipede

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops