- Anti Joke

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops