How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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your mom.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Charlie Sheen

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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