Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down -10

i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Eric is gay Ha

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women outside of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops