Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Roses are red, yup.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops