A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops