A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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penis

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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gays

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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