- Anti Joke

Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

CHEEZECAKE

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

There once was a cheerio. To protect the names of the innocent, we'll call him mike. Mike the cheerio is just a plain cheerio. Mike was walking down the street one day. He was feeling good. He had his headphones on and was enjoying a stroll. All of a sudden, he turns to see a beautiful honey-nut cheerio behind the counter of the store he was walking by. He thought to himself "Man, she's gorgeous. Maybe ill go ask her out." But then he remembers that he is just a regular cheerio. He then goes home. So he starts getting ready to go to bed. Mike then looks at his reflection and sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. Mike wakes up the next day. He realizes that he's become an apple jack cheerio! Mike then goes to work feeling great. Life is looking up. On his way home from work he even asks the honey-nut cheerio out on a date. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. Then he sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a honey-nut cheerio! Mike then goes to work, comes home, and gets ready for his date. The date goes great and they end up dating for two years. Mike then decides to propose to his girlfriend. He decides that he needs to ask her father for his blessing first though. The father had to work late that night so mike decided to just ask him the next day. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. He then sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a regular cheerio! Then he remembers that he was supposed to ask his girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage. Mike is scared that he may now say no. He decides to go for it anyway. Confused, he looks at Mike and says "A regular cheerio, marrying my daughter? I don't thinks so." Mike and his girlfriend break-up because of this. Mike feels really distraught over the whole set set of events. He goes to the bar to get really drunk. Mike sees one of his friends at the bar. He tells the friend his story. The friend tells Mike that he needs to go get his mind off of it. He then offers Mike to go to a new club. Mike accepts and they go off to the club. Mike sees so many hot cheerios out on the dance floor. He goes and starts dancing. He dances so much that he starts getting really thirsty. He looks around but can't find anything to drink, so he decides to keep dancing. His thirst really starts to get to him and he starts to really need a drink, He looks around and still can't find somewhere to get a drink. Then he thinks "Wait what kind of drink do people have at a party? Punch! So he looks through the entire place, but there was no punchline...

YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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