What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Why Because

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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69

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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live babies

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What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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I got shot, you laughed

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 killed 6's family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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