If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

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American healthcare.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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