Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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