What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I like to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

thumb_up thumb_down +27

jgkbk,mn

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops