Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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josh simpson has cancer

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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69

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Obama

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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No.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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