I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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I like to eat.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Brett Farve

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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Hahahahahhaha...................................black people

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Steering Wheel Face.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops