Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

Jess Burns

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

69

What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

Why Because

There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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