dildo

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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I hate you.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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The government makes a good decision

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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