A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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I like to eat.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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why did the chicken cross the road

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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Brett Farve

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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Why Because

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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