What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

I hate you.

if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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