Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

live babies

knock knock whos there .. derp

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

What time is it? 10:58

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

What is a dog? Bark

What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

ghjwASFDJHKJZFKLJFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA GGGG DG FUC K DISLIKE ME!

What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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