There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

Brett Farve

What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

Two guys were sitting in a pub.

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

GRAAAAAAAR.

how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

did you ever see a butter fly?

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...