Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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I like to eat.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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