potato

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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Religion

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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That's unfortunate.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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