Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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kennah campion... being nice

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Well, this is fun.

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A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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What is Jason? Black.

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ekoj

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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