So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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I like to eat.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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