That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

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School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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marble

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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I hate you.

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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