Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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