What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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What is a dog? Bark

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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why did the boy poop his pants Yhe Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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That's unfortunate.

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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