How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

Military intelligence.

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

Obama

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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