What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Military intelligence.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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Obama

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69

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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Brett Farve

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Women's rights

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Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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