What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Carlton

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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Child Prostitution.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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I like to eat.

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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