There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

Obama

jgkbk,mn

Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

Freedom of Speech

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

What did the American call the Arab? Nothing the American could not talk because he suffered from throat cancer because of the effects of 9/11 and thus causing his hatred towards Arabs and led to the Arabs death. Green

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

did you ever see a butter fly?

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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