Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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A man buys free health care...

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Child Prostitution.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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