Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

Rick Perry.

did you ever see a butter fly?

A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

women's rights

Women's rights.

What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

chuck norris is a little b|tch

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

ekoj

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

gays

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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