What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

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American healthcare.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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