I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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What's big? Jupiter.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

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A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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look at there!! an entire dog!!

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops