Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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...Jack Vale

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Kate

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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come along children

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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