What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

Hey, come here often? No.

YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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