GRAAAAAAAR.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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did you ever see a butter fly?

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The WNBA.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops