Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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come along children

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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Ruller

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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