What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

Black Poeple

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

A black man killed someone

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

What's red and silly? A blood clot

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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