Why don't you have a seat, over there?

How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

A man walks into a bar. Ow!

What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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