whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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why do anti jokes suck???? Because CC is Jewish and rapes orphan squirrels EJ

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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What is a dog? Bark

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Religion

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what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Knock knock, come in.

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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