A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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Hey, come here often? No.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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Child Prostitution.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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I like to eat.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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