What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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A man walks into a bar every night. He works there.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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kennah campion... being nice

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 killed 6's family

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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Turtles

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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No joke.

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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Well, this is fun.

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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i like potatoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops