What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +68

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

josh simpson has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

thumb_up thumb_down +28

jgkbk,mn

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops