Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

Pandas Everywhere!!!

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

A person with OCD walked into a abr.

Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

ekoj

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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