Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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1+1= 69

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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I like to eat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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