if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Let's write an anti-joke. K.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

thumb_up thumb_down -65

One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

thumb_up thumb_down -65

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

A baby seal walks in to a club

thumb_up thumb_down +70

1+1= 69

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what is patrick wilson? smart

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops