Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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what makes white men feel embarrassed and and ashamed? when they find out their girllfriend has been sleeping with a black man.

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Hello world

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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no

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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