How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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Kenny G

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops