A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Hey, come here often? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +68

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

thumb_up thumb_down +64

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops