how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

thumb_up thumb_down +35

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I like to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

69

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Brett Farve

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops