Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Got milk? No.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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