Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

Hey, come here often? No.

What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

Myspace

Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

If life throws you lemons Catch them

What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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