Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

thumb_up thumb_down +21

your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I got shot, you laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

kennah campion... being nice

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops