a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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Hey, come here often? No.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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1+1= 69

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Carlton

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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I like to eat.

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Military intelligence.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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