You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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