What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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Jess Burns

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops