Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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I like to eat.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Brett Farve

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops