An iguana walks out of a bar

Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

jgkbk,mn

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

Pandas Everywhere!!!

Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

knock knock go away

What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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