A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

1+1= 69

thumb_up thumb_down +59

some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

thumb_up thumb_down +57

How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Carlton

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I like to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Military intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops