What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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son, you're adopted.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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Jess Burns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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