Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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