Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

thumb_up thumb_down -47

a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

thumb_up thumb_down -53

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down +108

What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I like to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops