A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

Womens rights.

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

potato

What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...