Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Knock knock, come in.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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I hate you.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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