An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Child Prostitution.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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knock knock you may come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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