Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Child Prostitution.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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the cow goes moo

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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why did the chicken cross the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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