Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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kennah campion... being nice

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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