I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Brett Farve

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops