A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

A man walks into a bar. Ow!

knock knock you may come in

A baby seal walks into a club

There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

I got shot, you laughed

Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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