Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Jess Burns

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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I like to eat.

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Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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