how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Women's rights

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A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops