I like jokes.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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Hey, come here often? No.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Oh...okay, good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops