Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

Anti jokes are funny

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...