what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

potato

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

Religion

dildo

How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

A baby seal walks in to a club

What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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