Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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the cow goes moo

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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jgkbk,mn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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