There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Anti jokes are funny

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Potato salad

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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