How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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