A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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