How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

Pain Olympics.

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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