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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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No

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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