Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops