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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops