What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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No soup for you!

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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