Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops