Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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