How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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