Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Roses are red, yup.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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if you don't like this you're gay

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops