Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops