What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops