How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops