What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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what do you call a gay guy? kevin

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops