If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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hi michael

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops