Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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