Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

Dude man, I'm high...

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

joe galasso from plainview ny

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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