What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Gay rights.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops