Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops