You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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bangers and mash?

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops