What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops