A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops