Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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