What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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