Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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Whats 1+1? window!

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops