Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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