why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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