Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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knock knock

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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