Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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how much fish could a chicken

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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fridge

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops