Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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hi jonny

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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