Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops