Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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