Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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bangers and mash?

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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