Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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