What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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