Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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