A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Knock Knock.

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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All of these jokes are about white people

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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