Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mumma's so fat she is fat

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red. Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Wow! I've seen this joke before!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops