"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

I walk into a bar...

Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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