A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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Obama = ebola

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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Cripples are lame.

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops