Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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