Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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eat a hot dog

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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