What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

You know whats funny? Women's rights

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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