A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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95556

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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