How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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