Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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My Nan, that is all.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops