What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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