Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops