You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Andoni was here

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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