Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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Men's rights

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops