A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops