What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Rylan Clark

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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