How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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BIG MAC'S

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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