A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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