Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Horse.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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