What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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