Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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gay pom...

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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