Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops