What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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