What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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