Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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No

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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What do I hate? people

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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