Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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=3

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops