Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops