whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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