How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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Knock Knock.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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