Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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