How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

knock knock

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

Where would canada be without nature? still here

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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