Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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why did the little girl fell off the bed? because she saw his father rape her sister after killing his mother years ago, and every time she goes to sleep, she remembers that and the images come back to haunt her

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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