Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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women's rights

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops