What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops