What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did john say to bob Hey bob

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops