One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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