There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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Lacrosse

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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Men's rights

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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