What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

Two guys were sitting in a pub.

Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

did you ever see a butter fly?

Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

If life hands you lemons Take them

Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

Knock knock Nobody's home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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