Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i like potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

thumb_up thumb_down +3

That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops