Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

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William Raines.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

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potato

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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