Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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DERP

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Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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arse

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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