Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's 9 +10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Pandas Everywhere!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Well, this is fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops