how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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American healthcare.

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No joke.

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your all shit at jokes

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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William Raines.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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potato

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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Religion

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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