I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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