how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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ASSCHEEKS

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This is not a joke.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Hey, come here often? No.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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