if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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