suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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youre gay

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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