A baby seal walks in to a club

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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Obama

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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