What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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Women rights..

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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Kenny G

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops