Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

" I can't here you it's too dark!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

thumb_up thumb_down +7

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops