Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

james schmitt whats your last name

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down +108

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +66

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

thumb_up thumb_down +48

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Chocolate rain Awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops