What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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What's 9 +10 19

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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I got shot, you laughed

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Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

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A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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