Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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does this look unsure to you?

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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DERP

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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