Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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Religion

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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That's unfortunate.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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1+1= 69

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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