What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Is Carly smart? No.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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poop.........

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Thumbs this up

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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