what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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did you ever see a butter fly?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops