How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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Womens rights.

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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why did the boy poop his pants Yhe Holocaust

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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