Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

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I Love Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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