He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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live babies

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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Women's rights

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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Well, this is fun.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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i have aids and a chode

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops