Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

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JUSTIN BEING SMART

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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