Is Carly smart? No.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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son, you're adopted.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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