You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Jess Burns

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Obama

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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Brett Farve

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops