What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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