How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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