How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Obama

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Brett Farve

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops