What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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This is not a joke.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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1+1= 69

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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Oh...okay, good.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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the cow goes moo

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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