Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops