Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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So a seal walks into a club...

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops