A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

A baby seal walks in to a club

Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

1+1= 69

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

Carlton

A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...