Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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