whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops