Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

thumb_up thumb_down +40

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A black man killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops