A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

potato

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ASSCHEEKS

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I love you very much.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops