Is Carly smart? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

thumb_up thumb_down -5

balls in ya mouf

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Johnny just finished his pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

ASSCHEEKS

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Baaaaaaahhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops