Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

A baby seal walks in to a club

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

Child Prostitution.

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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