What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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why did the boy poop his pants Yhe Holocaust

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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