I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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ASSCHEEKS

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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to see a bad joke look above

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops