Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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To pen state administraters walk into a butt

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why did the boy poop his pants Yhe Holocaust

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Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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