How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

That's unfortunate.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops