Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

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What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops