what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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Well, this is fun.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops