Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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