whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Jess Burns

thumb_up thumb_down +35

a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Women rights..

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An iguana walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops