LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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There once was a man named Joe. Joe had AIDS, and killed all his friends and family The End, now go back to bed, pussy

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

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Women's rights

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops