Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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I like jokes.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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This is not a joke.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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I love you very much.

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Hey, come here often? No.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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