Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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blubber vaginass CC

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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