Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

What makes the world go round? Gravity.

you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

What did the guy say to the mushroom?

why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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