What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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potato

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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Hair

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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