Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

What is Jason? Black.

A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

The Aristocrats

what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

balls in ya mouf

yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

Liars go to hell! -God

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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