a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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1+1= 69

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops