How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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Knock knock, come in.

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I like jokes.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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CHEEZECAKE

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I love you very much.

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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1+1= 69

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops