Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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DERP

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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Why did the woman die Because she was old

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black people. that is all...

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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potato

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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CHEEZECAKE

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops