A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The awkward when you said moment in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Look at your hand. Made you look!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

William Raines.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's in there? Get outta there...

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

potato

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops