Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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Kenny G

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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cc

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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