yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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The WNBA.

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DERP

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knock knock go away

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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You.

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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