Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Whats the differance between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into a chicks ass.

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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ekoj

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Women's Rights...

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops