Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

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How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

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No joke.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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