Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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1+1= 69

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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