Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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knock knock go away

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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DERP

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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Why did the woman die Because she was old

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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potato

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops