A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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blubber vaginass CC

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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The Aristocrats

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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