Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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62

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The government makes a good decision

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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why did the chicken cross the road

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops