What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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Oh...okay, good.

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amy copied adams haircut :0

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What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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penis

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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