Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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You.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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