why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

A joke

Women's rights

A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Dallas Cowboys

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

ekoj

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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