Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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ha do call a by with red heir a freckles? ginger

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your moms so fat she has kankles

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

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if u r not my friend, like this joke

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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