Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down -39

am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -107

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops