Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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Your mom.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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A horse walked into a barn...

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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