- Anti Joke

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

I love you very much.

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

mitt romney

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

Magic Johnson has AIDS

One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

What makes the world go round? Gravity.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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