A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Asians...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

chuck norris is a little b|tch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the woman die Because she was old

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops