There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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balls in ya mouf

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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87

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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youre gay

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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