How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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DERP

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knock knock go away

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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A scottish man having fun

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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I Love Hitler.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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