Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Is Carly smart? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops