knock knock go away

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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Women's rights

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blubber vaginass CC

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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You.

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The

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

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Why did the woman die Because she was old

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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