Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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