"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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Potato salad

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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