Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops