I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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CHEEZECAKE

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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Jess Burns

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Goat balls.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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