A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

What do you call your mother? Mom.

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

a man walked into a bar and said ow

Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

Womens Sports

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

balls in ya mouf

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

how do you stop a train? you cant..

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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