There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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wat?

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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