Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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No joke.

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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William Raines.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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