Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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Your mom.

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A horse walked into a barn...

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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