Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate poems Penis.

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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