son, you're adopted.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops