What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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I love you very much.

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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