knock knock go away

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the woman die Because she was old

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -6

balls in ya mouf

thumb_up thumb_down -6

France never surrender.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down -8

yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Baaaaaaahhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

thumb_up thumb_down -14

P0P T4Rt

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops