What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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A joke

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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Women's rights

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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