roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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