What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What what In the butt

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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What's 9 +10 19

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops