Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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I love you very much.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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