Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

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A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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Dallas Cowboys

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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potato

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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P0P T4Rt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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