how do you stop a train? you cant..

I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

So a baby seal walks into a club.

One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...