Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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Obama

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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A man walks into a bar.

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops