What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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A fish walks into a bar

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

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Jews for Jesus

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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Nickelback

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops