What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +16

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worst than reading youtube comments? Panic at the disco

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

William Raines.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops