Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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does this look unsure to you?

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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who just made fun of katie matt

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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Why did the woman die Because she was old

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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