Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An iguana walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A fish walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's big? Jupiter.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the guy say to the mushroom?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats stupid, retarded, and dumb an Erin Perri.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops