Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

Rick Perry.

what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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