A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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