What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

thumb_up thumb_down +34

a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

thumb_up thumb_down +26

to see a bad joke look above

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Scott

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

An iguana walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The awkward when you said moment in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops