What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

A dwarf walks under a bar.

knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

American healthcare.

Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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